Overheard: two girls, on the wagon, off the wagon
Girl 1: I’m a vegetarian again. Girl 2: Me too! Well, you know. Girl 1: I was a vegetarian for like five years, then stopped for three, now I’m back. Girl 2: I’ve been one for years. Except for bacon....
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Hunch declined
My first topic—”Could I fight a bear and win?”—is still going strong. At hunch.com.
View ArticleToo old for the band
Son: Hey, Dad, you’re a pretty good singer. Me: Thanks! Son: Yah, if you were just a little younger you could be in a band.
View ArticleLate lunch
Me: Are we seriously going out to dinner at 4pm? Wife: It’s a late lunch. Me: Whatever, Grandma. The kids are off visiting with relatives and this is what becomes of us. Roll out of bed at 11 and lunch...
View ArticleIn which noble research is unexpectedly tainted
Wife: What the what are you looking at? Me: Random blogs. Getting inspiration for a redesign for my site. Wife: Why is that picture on your screen? Me: Oh, that. Just got lucky, I guess.
View ArticleCassette what?
Me: I had their first album on cassette. Daughter: On what? Me: Cassette tape. Music used to come on cassettes—little rectangular plastic things about this big—before CDs. Daughter: … Daughter: Oh my...
View ArticleWhat language is that?
Me: You’re the bee’s knees. Daughter: … Me: It means ”you’re awesome.” Daughter: I know what it means, Dad. I speak “old people.”
View ArticleIt’s the little things
Son: Dad, I need help. Me: With what? Son: I’m trying to make a peanut butter and jelly but I can’t open the jelly. It’s too hard. Me: OK, I can help you with that. Son: And the second problem is I...
View ArticlePants
Me: Are you guys dressed yet? The Girl: No. The Boy: No… I’m not even wearing pants.
View ArticleMy son on manliness
Son: The only thing manlier than Popeye is a jet plane made of biceps.
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